Isn’t it funny how opinionated people are about body weight. “she’s too skinny”, “she’s too fat”, “she’s too muscley”, “she’s too lean”, “she looks like a man”, “she doesn’t even look like she lifts weights”.
I could be having a totally fat day (or month! lol) and people will feel the need to remind me that my fat day would be their skinny day. Does that make me feel thinner? No. Do I instantly feel dynamite, fit and happy? Not a chance. Do I still feel fat and crappy? Yep. Are my jeans still too tight? Yep.
Too fat, too thin, too confused
I remember one time, a couple of years ago, a company wanted to hire me to be a fitness model for a celebrity workout series, and another company wanted to hire me for a infomercial. In the same period of time, one told me I was too lean and muscular, and the other one said I needed to lose 15lbs. I had to laugh. I admit, at first I didn’t laugh at all. I was totally frustrated. I found myself dieting one minute, and trying to add some mass the next. I was on a fitness rollercoaster ride and how I felt about my weight was determined by what others thought. Then I realized I just needed to be me. I needed to be at the weight I feel most comfortable, and not worry what others thought.
The issue of judging and stereotyping body types applies to everyone in some way or other – and it will likely happen to you too. As you diet and strive to reach your goals, it is not uncommon for people to tell you you’re getting too skinny, or to remind you how happy they’d be if they were at your weight. Another issue is people may judge you for caring about your body and health – maybe they think you are being selfish. They may judge you for the time you spend in the gym or how often you run. Some people perceive a healthy person to be vain or conceited. At the same time, fitness fanatics can come across equally judgmental. As Johnny Depp playing Donnie Brasco said, “forgetaboutit”. What matters most is how YOU feel.
Don’t let people define fitness for you. You are the only one who knows what you have to do to feel your best and to do what you need to be healthy and happy. So set your goals based on that – not one anyone else is doing or thinking. Not what you think the scale should say or a magazine may tell you. Define your own fitness this year.
Many times, when people are on a diet, they reward themselves with a nice dinner out or “cheat weekend”, but what about rewarding yourself with nice clothes that support your fitness goals? We would easily blow $50 on dinner without blinking an eye, but why not invest in your confidence and goals?
When I first got married and fell off the fitness train, I dreaded going back to the gym – as the fatter version of me. I felt fat and ugly, and knew people would notice how I had “let myself go”. I wore crappy workout clothes because I didn’t have any cute ones to fit my heavier body. As I lost weight, I began to reward myself with cuter tops and accessories. The closer I reached my goals, the more goodies I got – and the more excited I was about going to the gym.
Changing the way you reward yourself is one way to help boost your self-esteem to help you feel your best as you are working toward your goals. It worked for me – and it can work for you!
If you like fitness and working out, but you want to do it in style, you need to meet Ellie. Ellie is a monthly subscription program where you get a new outfit each month for half the cost. You can stop it any time, or you can even just order pieces you like, but the monthly subscription is the most affordable way to get a killer high-quality outfit each month for less. Here are some of the items I have and really love. As you can see, each piece has a unique design and fun cuts that not only pretty, but are flattering too.
Here is a sneak peak of Ellie‘s Bon Voyage Collection, the newest monthly collection.
10 Tips for Goal Setting:
- Set clear defined goals each week – this can be based on attendance, diet or weight
- Set clear defined goals each month – this should be results based
- Decide what has to be done to reach those goals
- Determine a specific reward for each goal or task met
- Reward yourself weekly with something small – like a fitness magazine or new music
- Reward yourself monthly with something bigger, like a new outfit or fitness accessory
- Create a “consolation prize”, like a smaller reward for those times you missed your goal, but didn’t give up or backslide, so you don’t get discouraged
- Share your goals with friends for added accountability
- Constantly remind yourself where you will be if you reach your goals each week.
- Keep your eye on the prize! Post your goals, pictures and motivation where you can see it multiple times through out the day.