The Grunch Who Stole Fitness
Every Peep Down in Peep-ville liked Fitness a lot…
But the Grunch, Who lived just North of Peep-ville, Did NOT!
The Grunch hated Fitness! The whole Fitness life!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows why.
It could be that his head wasn’t screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his pants were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his clothes were two sizes too small.
But, Whatever the reason, His tight shirts or his jeans,
He stood there with cookies and pie, taunting the Peeps,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grunchy frown
At the warm lighted gym windows, below in their town.
For he knew every Peep down in Peep-ville below
Was busy now, working out and losing weight, you know.
“And they’re getting results!” he snarled with a sneer.
“Their Fitness goal is so close! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his Grunch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find a way to keep Fitness from spreading!”
“Why for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now!
I MUST stop Fitness from growing! …But HOW?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRUNCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Grunch laughed, in his wit.
And he made a quick plan and workout outfit.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Grunchy trick!
“Everyone will think I can get them fit quick”
“All I need is a gimmick…” So the Grunch made a plan.
He would launch informercials, and start his new scam
BUT all the Peeps already heard of this Grunchy new trap
’cause Fitness Bloggers were blogging to their Peeps in a snap
Before the Grunch could even make his very first sell
The Peeps warned Peepville of all his new tricks very well
They all knew what to look for, they were wise to his plan
So the Grunch couldn’t sell his Quick Fix to one Peep the land.
And what happened then…? Well…in Peep-ville they say
That the Grunch’s fat waist, grew THREE SIZES that day!
And in that minute, his size didn’t feel quite so right,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
He turned in his thingumabobs and joined the Peeps for a sweat
And, in time, dropped 5 sizes – a year he’d never forget.
Original Dr. Suess story rewritten (and photos altered) by Bonnie Pfiester. 2011
Posted on December 25, 2011, in Diet & Nutrition Tips, Fitness Gimmicks, PFED UP, PFIT TIPS and tagged diet quick fix, diet tricks and gimmicks, dr. suess, dr. suess fitness story, fitness, fitness gimmicks, fitness informercials, fitness scams, funny fitness story, grinch, quick weight loss, the grunch, weight loss quick fix. Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.